Bind These Wounds
by ADivergentRebel
Summary: After completing Dauntless Initiation, Tris Prior doesn't stop training. The pain and intensity seem to distract her from guilt. What will happen when she over-works herself and develops a severe injury? Will Tobias step in? How will Tris and Tobias's relationship develop without war? Will they be able to bind each other's physical and emotional wounds?
1. Chapter 1

My fists pound against the tough fabric of the punching bag ferociously. I take deep breaths and increase the pace of my punching. The bag swings backward every time it makes contact with my fist.

"Easy, Tris." A low voice grumbles from behind me.

I turn around breathlessly. "Tobias," I wheeze.

He walks toward me and places his hand over my heart. It pounds against my chest aggressively.

"You need to cool down," he murmurs in a soothing tone. He removes his hand.

I take deep breaths and try to slow my heart rate. I look down at my hands. My knuckles are red, swollen, and split in several places.

Tobias nods his head toward the door of the training room. "Let's go bandage your hands."

Tobias wraps an arm around my shoulders and leads me out the door. A piece of me wants to protest, but the other piece of me knows that I shouldn't. Tobias, of all people, must understand why I have resulted to the training room in an attempt to release tension and stress. It has worked though, my whole body is warm and buzzing with adrenaline. I try not to think about how greatly my parents would disapprove of this. I am resulting to violence to release _my stress_, _my tension_. _Therefor it is self indulgent, selfish_.

Tobias and I walk down the halls of the compound in silence. Blue lights are placed on the walls every so often, providing minimal light. The halls are mostly empty, because of a party going on that every Dauntless member attends, and makes a big deal of, too. But Tobias and I aren't really the party type. I can't help but wonder if he went to the training room looking for me.

When we reach the door to his apartment, he turns the knob and ushers me in.

"Take a seat." Tobias says. Tobias doesn't really have any chairs, so I sit on the edge of his bed.

He grabs a tube of what I assume is a bruising cream. It says _Helps to relax sore muscles_, along the side.

"Where are your bruises?" He asks, unscrewing the cap, and putting some of the cream on his finger.

I bite my lip. "My hips, my lower back, my knees, my shoulders..."

His face becomes flushed and he shakes his head slowly. "Tris," he murmurs.

I place my hands in my lap. He presses on my shoulder, making me lay back on the bed. Once I am laying down on the bed, he lifts up my shirt a little, and sighs in frustration when it doesn't reveal my hips. He pulls the waistband of my jeans down a little to expose my hips, careful not go too low. He runs his hand along the bare sliver of my stomach idly before massaging my hip, spreading the cream in. I can't help but sigh in relief when the cool cream touches my bruised hip.

Tobias's cheeks turn a rosy pink. "How did you bruise your hips, anyway?"

"Stretching." I simply state.

He does the same thing to my other hip, and I resist the urge to sigh, for Tobias's sake.

When he is finished he motions for me to turn over. I roll over on his bed, and press my face into his sheets. They smell like the mint salve he is rubbing on my bruises, sweat, dust, and gunpowder. _They smell like him_. He lifts the back of my shirt up to reveal my heavily bruised back. He sucks in a breath. It must look really bad. The last time I was this bruised was when I was attacked, but I decide not to mention that because _I did this to myself_. I now know that is actually possible to work _too_ hard. Especially now that initiation is over, and I don't have to worry about my ranking in Dauntless. And Tobias worries about me. I have absolutely no reason to train so hard, _all the time_.

"Can I take this off? To finish.." He stutters slightly.

I chuckle. "Are you asking me to undress, Tobias?" I mock.

Although my face is pressed into his sheets and he is behind me, I know he is smiling.

"Only, partially." I grin into his charcoal colored sheets, and sit up slowly to allow him to remove my shirt.

His gentle hands glide along my lower back and grab the hem of my shirt. I slowly feel the shirt rise over my head. I lay back down on my stomach. Neither one of us says anything. The tension between us is so thick you could cut it with a knife. I try to relax a little, because I trust Tobias. Something cool is rubbed over my entire back. Tobias's big, rough hands caress my back gently with the salve, and at one point he lifts up my bra strap to rub the salve on the bruises there. The cream is thick and smells heavily of mint. Slowly, my muscles begin to relax, one at a time. By the time Tobias is finished, I can barely feel the bruises. I sit up a little too fast, and wince when I realize that even though the salve helped, my bruises are still sore. Tobias places two firm hands on my shoulders.

"Careful." He murmurs.

I turn around to face him, and blush when I realize I'm not wearing my shirt. Tobias's eyes drift down to my chest for a moment, and his face turns red. He looks back at my face quickly.

"Can I have my shirt?"

Tobias looks down and realizes he is clutching my shirt. His eyes widen and he quickly hands it to me. "Sorry."

I slip it over my head slowly, so I won't make any sudden movements.

"Let me see your knees." Tobias says. I roll up my pant leg reveal the worst bruise I have ever seen. Both of my knees are splotchy and the bruises are huge, red, and swollen. Tobias gasps.

"This is bad, Tris." He runs a gentle hand along the bruise. "It looks like an active bleed." Tobias shakes his head. "Wow, that's really concerning."

I don't meet his eyes.

"I _should_ take you to the infirmary, you know." He says.

I shake my head vigorously. "No," I say. "Please."

Tobias's eyebrows furrow. "You might of damaged an artery." He sighs. "If it isn't better in the morning, I _will _take you to the infirmary."

He squeezes some cream from the tube, and rubs it along the uneven, puffy surface of my knee. "Sorry, Tris." he murmurs. "I just really care about you. That's all."

I sigh. "I know, Tobias."

Once he is done rubbing in the cream, he wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me against him. My chest fills with all the infinite love I have for him and I nuzzle my face against his shirt. His warmth radiates off of him and surrounds me. He moves his lips right next to my ear.

"I love you." he whispers.

"I love you too."


	2. Chapter 2

The sweet scent of Tobias fills my nostrils. I sigh in content, my eyes still closed. The soft linen of his sheets seem to caress my cheek and I nuzzle into it, enjoying the feeling of the bed. It is much more comfortable than mine.

The sound of footsteps creek on the apartment's wooden floors, and get closer to me. Although my eyes are closed, I know Tobias is leaning over me. Perhaps because of the strong essence he gives off, that you don't need eyes to see.

His lips press against my forehead. "Good morning." He murmurs.

I open my eyes. Tobias's face is right in front of mine, his oceanic eyes staring into my blue gray ones.

I smile. "Good morning."

I try to sit up, but fall back down on the mattress with a groan of pain. I forgot about yesterday.

"Woah," Tobias's eyes widen. "easy."

He wraps his firm hands around my arms, and helps me to sit up slowly. I force the yelp that wants to erupt from my mouth, to stay inside my lips, but a small moan manages to escape.

"Tris," Tobias eyebrows scrunch together. "You ought to know by now you can let yourself be in pain around me."

"I know Tobias," I start. "But-"

He cuts me off. "Let me see your knee."

I sigh, and swing my legs over the side of the bed. I blush when I realize my legs are bare, and all I slept in was one of Tobias's old tee shirts.

Tobias runs his hand along my bare knee. It is no better than yesterday, with swollen red blotches covering its surface.

"You really put yourself through the ringer, Tris." Tobias murmurs.

"But-I," I pause. "It helps me forget."

Tobias frowns. "Forget what?"

I bite my lip, and my eyes flick to the floor. "Al," my voice cracks. "my family. The stress of figuring out what I want to become." I run a hand through my hair.

"I'll help you."

My eyes return to his. "What?"

"I'll help you forget." He brings a hand up to my cheek. "I'll be your family now."

He leans into me, and his lips press against mine. Our lips move against each other's in sync, and my body fills with pleasure, and my immense love for him.

After a moment I pull away, and a grin spreads across his lips. "Move in with me."

A light blush coats my cheeks, and I smile. "Thank you."

He shakes his head, a grin still on his face. "No, thank you."

"You're the one who-"

"No." Tobias cuts me off again. "You're the one who saved me." He sits down next to me on the edge of the mattress. It lets out a small squeak underneath his weight. "I was going to leave."

I twist my body so I am facing him. "What?"

"I was going to leave," he repeats. "leave Dauntless."

My eyes widen.

"But I couldn't," he continues. "because I met you."

A few hours later, after Tobias served me his delicious scrambled eggs, we sit on his couch, talking about what I should become in Dauntless. He is trying his best to relieve me of all my stress. _What did I do to deserve him? _We talk about the possibility of me becoming an inter-faction ambassador, because according to him, I'm really good at seeing things from other people's perspective.

All of a sudden, Tobias changes the subject and says. "Let me take you to the infirmary."

"Tobias," I plead.

"It's hurting me, Tris." He shakes his head. "The thought of you hurting yourself, and me not doing anything about it..." He trails off, and his eyes flick down to my hand on top of his.

It is in that moment that I realize, my wellbeing isn't just about me anymore. I need to live, and thrive, because of him. I need to take care of myself, because if I don't, I will hurt him. And I don't want that. _This is what love is_. I think. It's about two people who see each other as equals, have respect for one another, and if something happens to one of them, wishing it happened to you instead. It is loving someone more than yourself.

"Alright." I say. "Let's go."

Tobias offers me a small smile, and grabs my hand, leading me out the door. We walk down the cold, dark, cave-like hallways of the compound. It must be late morning, as many hangover Dauntless are just coming out of the dining haul. As we pass by them, I want to laugh. This is the main reason I don't go to parties.

A young Dauntless man, with a dyed bright red mohawk and a body covered in tattoos, clutches the metal railing above the chasm, and leans over the chasm, throwing up. His hands grip the railing so hard they become a ghostly white, almost the color of my skin. His body heaves again and Tobias and I speed up.

I limp alongside Tobias. _My injuries must be more serious than I thought_.

When we arrive at the infirmary, we are escorted into a room immediately. Almost no one is here. Weird, considering almost all of Dauntless is either drunk or seriously hungover. A doctor enters the room.

"What seems to be the problem?"


	3. Chapter 3

"She's hurt." Tobias says, a pained expression on his face.

I turn toward the doctor. "It's not that bad."

"Okay then," The Doctor pushes a pair of spectacles farther up his nose. He must be here from Erudite.

He reaches into a cabinet above the exam table and hands me a paper gown. _Oh no. _

"Change into this, and I'll be back in a few moments to perform a complete physical."

Tobias's face twists from concern to anger. "She just hurt her knee." He growls.

The doctor simply shakes his head and exits the room.

"Tobias," I start.

"Tris." He says. "I didn't think- I didn't know that they would... want you to...um." He blushes and puts his head in his hands. "You better get the medical attention you need." He runs his hand through his dark locks.

"It's fine." I say. _No it isn't._

With Tobias's head still in his hands, I get dressed into the paper gown, leaving my undergarments on.

Tobias looks up, and his eyes widen. The paper gown provides little, if no, cover.

I make my way over to the exam table, and pull myself up onto it. Tobias rushes over to help me. His hand glides along my bare back. I shiver.

When I sit up on the exam table, I'm sure my face is red. I feel vulnerable. I hate feeling vulnerable.

"I'm sorry, Tris."

I don't meet his eyes. I probably don't even really need to be here anyway. _You are helping him. _I tell myself. _He needs to see that you're okay._

Tobias sits down on the table next to me and places a hand on my cheek, forcing me to look at him.

"Really." He says. "I really am. I'm just as uncomfortable as you are." He laughs softly. "I would take your place for you, you know I would."

"I know," I sigh, leaning into his side. "It's just I-" my voice cracks. "I feel so vulnerable." I nuzzle my head into his rib cage. "And I hate feeling vulnerable."

He kisses my forehead. "You might feel vulnerable. But you certainly aren't. Even in that paper gown you look..." He pauses. "Tough as nails."

I smile as I remember the last time he told me that. It was when I had a breakdown after one of my fear simulations as an initiate. How times have changed.

Tobias wraps his arms around me.

The doctor comes in a moment later, but neither one of us notices. We are too wrapped up in each other to care.

The doctor clears his throat. "Um, ."

I untangle myself from Tobias, and he hops off the exam table.

The doctor starts by looking in my eyes, throat, ears and mouth. He listens to my heart with a stethoscope. Then he asks me to lay down on my back.

As I lower myself on the table, I try not to cry out in pain. It hurts to move.

The doctor lifts up my gown, and I let out a surprised gasp. He feels around my stomach, and I squeeze my hands into fists. I know he's a doctor, but I'm only comfortable with Tobias touching me like that.

"Alright Tris."

I sit up, too quickly. Tobias scurries over to make the gown cover me again.

"I'm going to run some x-rays, so if you'll follow me." The doctor says, gesturing toward the door.

I look warily toward Tobias. His eyebrows are scrunched together in concern, but he helps me down from the exam table.

The doctor runs some x-Rays and takes a blood test. We wait quietly in the exam room to hear his verdict.

When he finally comes back, he is sporting a rather concerned look on his aging face.

"I'm afraid that Ms. Prior has burst an artery in her knee," the doctor pushes his spectacles farther up his nose, _again. _"we are going to have to rush her over to a specialty surgeon at Erudite headquarters."

Tobias's face drains, and his jaw drops open.

"But-" I start. "I... It!"

The doctor just slowly shakes his head.

I look toward Tobias, unable to find words. _I'm sorry._

The rest of him turns ghostly white, and he crumples to the floor.


	4. Chapter 4

I am woken by the sound of a heart monitor.

My eyes flutter open, and a bright white light blinds me. For a second, I think that I've died. No. No. I can't die. I'm not ready to die. There's so much I wanted to do. With him. I think. So many things I wanted to do with him.

"Tris." A rumbling deep voice.

The heart monitor picks up its pace, and my mind tells me that I can't be dead, if that heart monitor is indeed mine. But for some reason, everything around me is blurry, and I can't focus on anything for longer than a second. The white haze still engulfs me.

By instinct, my hands reach up toward my chest, perhaps checking to make sure it's still there. Instead of my chest, my hands grasp a tangled knot of cords and tubes.

What's going on?

The monitor's beeps become faster, faster.

"Tris," the voice rumbles again. "Tris, calm down!"

All of a sudden, I feel like I'm choking, and my head fills up with a fuzzy cloud, of pure misery. The cloud slowly works its way over me, and soon my entire body is warm with the cloud of misery. Or maybe it's a cloud of paranoia.

Is this what it's like to die? Do you just become more and more miserable, until paranoia takes control, and all the chords inside you snap, like the strings of an old guitar?

I pull at the knot in my hands. I want this off of me. Off, off, off. It would help if I could see, and if I weren't so dizzy and discombobulated.

Nothing seems to make sense.

"Don't pull on that!" The same voice shouts, grabbing my hands, and holding them down at my sides.

I fight against the grip, but my strength is nothing compared to whoever is holding me.

One of my hands is released, and the grip is moved to hold my chin.

"Look at me. Look at me." The voice says.

I squint, trying to see better, and make sense of my surroundings. Slowly, the white haze around me comes into focus. A hospital room. Blue eyes. Dark hair. IVs. Needles. Paper gowns. I try to focus more on the person who currently has my chin in their hands.

The grip does not feel threatening. It must be someone I am comfortable with. Their aura, is one of extreme comfort, and reminds me of safety.

I blink rapidly. The man in front of me comes into focus.

"Tobias!" I say, breathlessly.

The corner of his lips turn into a small, sad smile. "Tris. Thank god." He places a hand on his forehead, and shakes his head in disbelief. "I was so scared."

"Me too." I reach a shaking hand out to touch his cheek, almost like I am checking to see if all of this is indeed real. "I thought I was dying. And I-" my voice cracks. "Just don't want to leave you."

He smiles a little. "Please don't."

I return his smile, as best as I can, in my condition.

I don't know where to begin, or what questions to ask, so I start with the most cliche question you could possibly think to ask in this scenario. "What happened?"

"Your hard training caused a serious artery in your leg to burst, so they had to operate on you immediately. When they were halfway through the operation, they realized that you have been developing a severe case of walking phenomena for months."

The artery part of what he said doesn't surprise me at all. In fact, I think that's what Tobias told me he thought it was the second he saw my knee. But, walking phenomena?

"Walking phenomena?" I question, dumbfounded.

He nods.

"What will that mean for my recovery?"

He frowns. "It means," he says. "That it will take much longer than it would have normally." He pauses. "In fact, it was incredibly dangerous for you to be in the operating room with your phenomena, since your system is run down already, it makes you more susceptible to other lingering viruses and bacteria. You've been out for quite a while, and I must say, the doctors and nurses have been very attentive. They've been checking up on you quite a bit."

Tobias must see the distress in my eyes because he adds, "It's all going to be fine." His hand caresses my cheek.

By the look on his face, though, I'm not sure I believe him.

What if I caught an even more serious virus in the operating room?

"Tobias," I say, my voice coming out sounding like my throat is being squeezed. "What about the Dauntless? What about my-" I cough. "job."

"Don't worry about any of that, Tris." His eyes soften. "I've got everything under control. You just focus on getting better."

His words sound smooth, and put together, but by the looks of him, he is anything but put together.

His hair is tousled, dark rings encircle his eyes, and the shadow of some scruff frames his chin, telling me he hasn't shaved in a while.

"When was the last time you slept?"

He laughs.

"Tobias, I'm serious. When was the last time you slept?" I repeat.

"Three days ago." He murmurs.

I shake my head. "Tobias."


End file.
